1/16/18

Bedtime scene.


1/12/18

Up Your Decor - Turn that frown upside brown!

 Hey there, decorators!!!! Shut up and pay attention to my decorating!!! I've got some really boss ideas that you need to do them to your house immediately, okay? Of course it's okay!!! Let's get started with your basement!

Your basement is probably full of spiders and not yellow! Fix that with this brave basement rumpus room concept featuring concentric yellow floor rings centered on the sump pump that you walled over. Then, you can cleverly force your visitors to sit and stay a while by reducing headroom with that cheeky shelf! What's on the shelf? The steamer trunks of previous guests who tried to leave! Neat! Everybody stays!!!!


If your bathroom is more of an open plan concept, consider adding Arizona! Meep meep! The brown fixtures not only gloss over the months where you forget to clean them, it also  harmonizes with the bucolic  Southwestern scenery. That's you over there by the window, looking lonely, but not for long! The bears and coyotes will be lining up to have a dip in your bath!


Your little media moguls will appreciate this super-affordable bedroom! Firstly, the vinyl-covered pillow tubes were probably just lying around somewhere or something! They'll do a good job of keeping your head from drying our too much when you're sleeping! And those drapes probably look expensive imported or whatever, but they're really just painted rulers! Not only that, but they also block up to 35% of unwanted daylight when you're watching the latest news on the television! Speaking of news, that wallpaper is really grabbing headlines what with it's being-actually-just-newspapers-ness! Why stop there, when the floor can totally be covered in newspapers, in case your children are boys? That's because they simply can't be taught where to do their filthy business!






If you're like me, you dream of floating in a sea of brown that's actually just your bathroom! Don't dream it! Do it! It all starts with brown shag carpeting that you'll no way ever, ever regret! Brown towels, extra bath mat and curtains! Then, add some beautiful brown stools for anyone who wants to watch you take a bath! Contrast that with yellow tartan wallpaper... wups, make that ceilingpaper... and you're goin' down to brown town! With a bathroom like this, you'll be at the forefront of the brown movement!!!




1/11/18

Jameson Whiskey - So... dolls?

In the 1939 issue of Fortune magazine, journal of captains of industry and what the Monopoly guy reads on the can, you'll see lots and lots of ads for hard liquor. Boy, did those industry captains like to salute the bottle. Yowza. This ad has weird dolls, for some reason.



Usually, when an ad has a baffling picture, there'll be some kind of visual pun or hint in the copy that helps the picture make sense. Nope. Just those weird Art Clokey figures pouring us a glass of Jameson's finest... through a bung hole punched in the side of the bottle, somehow?

It seems that's how the art director solved the problem of "How do you show a  ten-inch wooden dude pouring a drink while keeping the label right side up so the reader can read it?" Bizarre.

Well, they were probably having a little Jameson at the production meeting.






1/10/18

New Idea Parade 11


1/8/18

1/5/18

Cooking with flaccid vegetables.