Holy crap! We got merch, people! Shirts, sweatshirts, mugs, probably inappropriate baby clothes! All made from stuff posted here over the last eight or so years. You can shop for such miscellaneous weirdness as...

-Henry the Eighth's Drum Solo
-Up Your Decor, with Vorbia Goatstain
-Molested pictures of old cars with too many wheels
-Uncle Sam's "Lookin' Good. Keep it Up!"
-Yonder Varmint Whiskey
-Raving geezer Whisky
-Bertiff Glavin night club revues
-Knitter's Remorse
-Songs of the North American Oak Tree
-Space Planet
-Understanding Policeman's Signals
-Various cartanks

...and of course a bunch more.

Here's the link, below. Or, just click the banner to the right.

Just be prepared for some scrolling. There's rather a lot, because we tried to make lots of color variations available. We'll be adding more shirts all the time. If there's one you think we should make, just email us and tell us.

When You Take the Wheel - Steering wheel design.


The Frisk

 Joke #1 - Bertrand sighed wistfully. Chaz used to frisk him like that. He wondered what had changed. Had he gained weight?

Joke #2 - Some regarded it as an invasion of privacy, but it was the only way to ensure a hilarious night's entertainment for everyone. Before guests could enjoy the cabaret show, they all had to pass a level one zerbert test.

Joke #3 - "Chaz, he still doesn't have any weapons in his ass. Please move on."

Joke #4 - "Ooooo, no weapons, but someone's definitely smuggling something!"

Joke #5 - Chuck was afraid of this. He hated being searched, and now, of all times? He concentrated and chanted to himself "Please don't spread the cheeks. Dear God, please don't spread the cheeks."

Joke #6 - "Chaz, please let him pass. Perfectly aerobicized buttocks are not contraband!"

Joke #7 comes to us from Mr.FancySloppyPants_#2, who absolutely went there. "That'll teach him!" thought Bertrand as Officer Chaz reached back to frisk him. "I told him I had to go!"... Just then, last night's 5-Alarm Chili & Tequila Drink Fest followed by that Midnight White Castle Slider Run had let loose in all it's explosive thunderous wetness, as Officer Chaz's fingers hit their "mark"...

[Commenter jokes will be added to the post.  -Mgmt.]


Gold Medal Books - Mayhem... FOR SALE!

We're a little more subtle with our descriptions of entertainment now than we were in The Fifties. We just call them "action movies" or "adventure novels". We like violence and destruction, but we don't like to say so. Not so in 1956. Observe this ad for "men's interest" novels from publisher Gold Medal Books. We promise you this ad has not been messed with. There really was a book called "Danger for Breakfast".

Incidentally, any image we post that's been altered will have the tag "Photoshop" down at the bottom.

Even more incidentally, the font at the top of the ad is Latin Wide. The body text font used in the ad is Tw Cen. Those, plus Rockwell Bold (not used in this ad) account for maybe 75% of all commercial graphics made in The Fifties and Sixties. If you're faking up some retro graphics intended to look like they're sixty years old or so, those fonts are just about all you need.

Oh yeah. When did we stop saying "Moslem" and start saying "Muslim"?

Click for 1600px.



Thad Fastburn