4/20/10

Prell Shampoo - Super green.

This woman's hair reminds me of something. It took me a minute or two to figure it out, but I got it.



Ruby Rhod, from The Fifth Element, had a kind of similar thing on the front of his head. I'm not sure if I could talk to a woman with hair like this and not be constantly distracted by it. The curl on her forehead is so carefully formed, it looks like it was sculpted with epoxy. Nomatter how charming or fascinating she was, I'd always be wondering if I could hang my keys on it, or whether I could hide a fortune cookie inside the little cave. The roll of hair that extends around the back of her head reminds me of a stormtrooper's helmet. If these were science fiction tributes on her part, maybe I could live with it? Maybe it could be the foundation
of a strong relationship, with her continually remodeling her hair in the shape of Robot, from Lost In Space, or a colonial viper or something?

There are some wonderfully extraneous quotation marks in the copy. One of the shampoo's selling points is that it's "Easy to 'do' too". Why the quotes around "do"? Judging by the standard rule of squaresville, quotes are used to offset any strange slang that should be foreign to our mainstream whitebread tongues. Was the word "do" newly invented in 1948? The only explanation is that it had recently replaced the word "actuate". "Prell makes your hair easier to actuate too." Yep. That must be it.

Nice doctor picture. This calls for a joke list...
Joke #1: Nope. Nothing. Still nothing. Nothi... wait! I found the bullet! That ought to fix you right up, Ken. Sorry about that. I'm always a little jumpy when I'm cleaning one of my many guns and a patient shows up a few minutes early. So, let's have a look at that knee, shall we?

Joke #2: Yep. It's definitely a brain mole, Mr. Aaronson... and it looks like a republican one, too. You'll need this prescription John Carey shampoo, and try to make a donation to a science foundation. That should kill it easily enough.

Joke #3: Wow, performing brain surgery is so much better in 3D. I feel like I'm actually immersed in your brains. Pity the story is a derivative pile of shit, though.

Joke #4: Yep. There's your problem. You've got a very small logging company clear cutting your scalp. Shall I claim exclusive rights to the area and file a subpoena or just chain myself to a follicle?

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