TWA - Can't get over yourself.

If you've flown anywhere lately, you know perfectly well that we live in a Golden Age of air travel, where you are treated as an honored guest by every airline worker you meet, and never like a suspected antichrist or annoying child at every turn... never even a little bit. The happy airport associates beam when they see you, and maybe even give a little bow as your glowing procession wafts through the airport - that happy, modern shrine to unimpeachable service and basic human dignity. Modern air travel is a towering achievement - a graceful ballet of technology and a celebration of good will that will never become a soul-crushing humiliation in which you pay for the privilege of being insulted and abused by pre-verbal troglodytes. No, that can never ever happen.

Yes, this Age of Wonder that we live in surely must be a new thing, no? The early days of commercial air transit must have had a rough start, right? Never! Even in 1950, the very dawn of the Jet Age, America had perfected the Miracle of flight. The world knew, it too. As we can see in this ad, a hero's welcome awaits the Miracle of a visit by an American.

Yes, every silly little country, like "Europe" and "Overseas" languishes in misery, waiting for the miracle of An American to come and give their otherwise grim lives meaning.

Just look at that Overseas woman thanking God that an American has finally come to bring light to her tiny, backward village. Could she make it through another day of grinding misery without touching the hem of an American's robe?


But he's not wearing a robe! His raiment is of some kind of miraculous future-cloth, surely spun by the angels themselves! What other powers must this superbieng possess? What did she do to deserve this Miracle?

Don't try to explain to the villagers. They couldn't possibly understand...

Why aren't you booking your next TWA vacation right now? The airport is waiting to offer you many liquids in very large bottles to carry onto the plane. They are clamoring to offer you shoes... shoes! And they will never ask you to remove your clothing. Go to the airport and let them celebrate you. Go visit a country and be someone's miracle.

Click for miraculous resolution.