Joke #2 - "Well, you're in luck, because this is my last bottle of rye. That's six dollars, and remember: we got this prohibition on, so if anyone asks which four-year-old girl sold you this, you tell them to amscray, got it?"
Joke #3 - Some said that it was inappropriate for a four year old girl to take on such a responsibility, but those people just didn't know the depths of one child's love for her alcoholic gorilla.
Joke #4 - In the darkest days of the depression, many Americans looked to the hilarious antics of "Betsy, the Drunken Hobo Girl", to distract them from the fact that they were drunken hobos.
Joke #5 - Even during prohibition, truly determined children found safe places to play the beloved playground game of "hop-scotch".
Jeremy decided to stop by and show us how it's done. I am not worthy. Thanks for the schooling, J! - Joke #6 - No matter how carefully worked out the disguise, Al Capone could never stay underground for long.
Jeremy could not stop if he wanted to. Name-dropping such exotic boozes! So continental! Joke #7 - As she strode past the disbelieving store clerk, Lil' Theda prayed that the obvious fifth of Old Overholt would distract him from the 3 pint bottles of Jaeger she was smuggling in her diaper.
Andrew H send a little ray of happy sunshine with joke #8. Thanks, Andrew! - This was little orphan Brenda's last chance. Hopefully the scotch would end the beatings or at least Mr. Oliver "Daddy" Warbucks would at last see that she was the more responsible one. As long as nothing got in her way, maybe, just maybe, that sun WOULD come out tomorrow! The sun didn't come out tomorrow.
Beautiful bastard [lrf] Gets a big tip of the hat and a "Damn you. I wish I'd written that joke!" award for Joke #9 - None of the Marx Brothers were particularly good parents, but Harpo Jr. clearly had it the worst.
[Commenter jokes will be added to the post. -Mgmt.]
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