Borden's Instant Coffee - Scary good coffee?

It's time to perpetuate the stereotype about the old auntie who disapproves of everything you do... with the help of Borden's instant coffee! Who's instant what? BORDEN'S. I guess they used to make it.
In this ad, a young bride teaches her frosty, patrician Aunt Bea (No, not that Aunt Bea.) a thing or two about instant coffee. Aunt Bea is so grateful at being A) tricked and B) taught a lesson that she gifts he niece with an elaborate magic amulet, which probably gives her a +12 bonus to turn undead ... something that, by the looks of Aunt Bea, will come in handy in a few months.

Now, the girl has two options. She can either keep and use the amulet - possibly against her own kin when the time comes - or destroy the amulet at an enchanting table. This would allow her to learn the "turn undead" enchantment and thereby have the option to create her own magic item of similar ability. Also,when she chooses to try making her own anti-mummy mojo, the resulting item may very well have a stronger bonus than the necklace from Aunt Bea, if her enchantment skill is high enough.

That is a gamble, though. By the time she finds out whether her home made Amulet of Turning  is better than the one she destroyed to learn the spell, she won't have a choice any more. The original (and possibly superior) item will be gone. This is why she should save her game before she disenchants the one from Aunty. If she does lack the skill to make a better one, she can just wait it out and level up. Eventually, she'll improve her enchantment skill and she'll be able to make a whup-ass mummy blaster for sure.

Let's see. Umm, where was I? Aunt Bea reminds me of robot magnate and general evil-doer Mom, from Futurama.
This coffee tastes like porpoise hork, you crap!

The picture of Aunt Bea in the last panel might be good for scaring children, so here's a Rude Finger Graphic Gift of her. Big and small. Left and right. Come and get 'em. She's a PNG with a transparent background, to help her fit into all sorts of emails or graphics. You're welcome.

And yes, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim is a wonderful game. Buy it for everyone you know and you'll never hear from them again. They'll be too busy making poison and poking dragons to call you.


John said...

Just letting you know I don't care for the new blogspot image viewer/layer thing. Bring back the "view page with magnifier" widget thing. Can't read the copy in the scans when they're too small.

Maybe on a 27inch Mac it's ok, but, on my 15" laptop the pleasure of the posts is diminished.

PhilAreGo@gmail.com said...

Yeah. Goggle makes "improvements" to Blogger on a pretty regularly random basis. Also irrational. I regret their judgment sometimes. You are encouraged to right click any picture you want onto your hard drive and have your way with it using the software of your choice.

Thanks for reading, John!


Anonymous said...

I remember how good Bordens instant coffee was in the '60s. Is it available anywhere now?

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